THE MAIN BLOG

Thus far the experiment has proceeded to the stage where I have successfully constructed my characters and begun interacting with individuals with them via my forum – an online role playing game.

Results:
The goal of this project was always one of self-discovery, of understanding the way I form the perceptions I have and probing them. I wanted to know if it was possible to change the manner in which I think at will – not simply change the thoughts I have but the way I create them. It has been suggested in the course of this class that the web is a forum where people can create new identities for themselves, to alter who they are or bring out different sides of there psyche. I wanted to know whether or not you could actually CHANGE who you were on the web, or if in the course of responding and interacting with others the real person you are would still dominate. Through my interactions I have met with conflicting results. I can indeed change the manner is which I think, I can focus and put myself into mindset of my constructed characters. On a practical level, this means that I use different language/words (i.e. talk differently). In a circumstance where one constructed persona would make a joke then another, I find myself able to think more witty or clever then when I put myself into a more serious framework. However, I keep hitting a wall. Playing out the characters still FEELS like acting, it doesn’t come naturally. I keep having to make a conscious effort to alter the way I act and I find myself slipping in impromptu or spontaneous moments. I still feel a pull to act or say something “out-of-character”. There is still the perception of me, myself, sitting at a computer terminal playing a game (now, for sanities sake, that may not be a BAD thing…..). Who I am still shows through from time to time. I am reminded of that Richard Geer movie a while back (Primal Fear I think it is…) where the tag line read something like, “Someone who wears two faces long enough forgets which one is real”. I try and picture other individuals who use the web as an escape from who they are and wonder if it really is? When push comes to shove, are they really changing who they are or simply interacting differently then they usually do – instead of keeping emotion bottled up inside, they simply express it. I wonder is the person they are on the web is simply an extension of themselves. And if that is the case, they why do people CARE about what face others put on the web. If the most people are capable of is simply showing a different side of themselves, then that means they are not pretending or betraying others by being a different persona on the web, because in the end it is still who they are. Do the specific, race, gender, creed, age, occupation, really matter? You are who you are and there may be limits to who you can choose to be. I have encountered my limit and in the end may not be able to break it. We’ll see in the final stages of the experiment. Final Conclusion to follow.

Watching TV today, as I usually do when I’m doing everything I can think of to do to procrastinate the things I have to do, I came across an interesting commercial that got me thinking about our discussion about Hacking/Surveillance and “Big Brother”. The commercial started out with a fat, white old guy with a beer in hand sitting on a lounge chair in a robe in his living room (First thought – “CHANGE CHANNEL CHANGE CHANNEL CHANGE CHANNEL!!!!). Out of sheer morbid curiosity I decided to actually WATCH the commercial only to be freakishly surprised when the guy in the commercial started talking in what sounded like a young teenage girl’s voice. The old guy (in the girl’s voice) was talking about a shopping experience buying an extravagantly expensive bra that apparently “lifts and separates”. Through this commercial I am of course wondering “huh? – what is going on?”. However, at the end of the commercial I am pleasantly surprised to find a message. The guy is in fact a victim of Identity theft and the voice I hear coming from him is the voice of the culprit (using the man’s credit card for the bra shopping). This reminded me of our discussion about Hacking because of the conclusion most of us had come to. Most of us, myself included, claimed to have nothing to hide from anyone. Therefore, we were not really opposed to the idea of the government or some regulating body taking greater action to measure and monitor us all (in hopes of catching those WHO would be dangerous). However, my feelings have changed a bit. While it’s true I am a law abiding citizen an all, what about those who have no interest in being a National threat but simply want to gain access to personal information for their own purposes. Greed and theft, or simply fixation and violation of privacy, I can’t deny that there are those in this world who would use any piece of access into my life for something indecent or inappropriate. And while I may not fear any government body, by allowing access and monitoring by such an agency we inherently provide for a greater access by those who would not use information gathered for such proper purposes. In the end, we ALL have things to hide, my personal financial information, address, etc. isn’t something I want available to all. And while safeguards of course exist in the Web to protect us, allowing one entity to bypass those safeguard will undoubtedly allow for others to have that freedom as well. The point of privacy is for each individual to have control over their livelihood. When we give that up, for any reason no matter the cause, we must be ready for that choice to be exploited. With protection always evolving into greater levels, hacking and interception techniques are also keeping pace. I worry that to make it officially acceptable for any organization to monitor us may open the floodgates for all to do so.

When Art is born into this world we consider it art because it gives something back to us. It describes a journey, tells a story, says something about the world we live in or about us as people. Art has a message the artist is expressing through that art. Digital Art should and is just be an extension of that. Artists have been discovering new mediums of expression for hundreds of years, and with further advances in technology and the new digital art the same rules (or lack there of) apply. Thus the real problem is one which has been battled on many fronts for these last hundreds of years. What is Art and how do we define it? With the advance in tech this problem continues to be amplified as people find me mediums and way of expression. Indeed “people” can now be considered “artists” because of the ease and increased ability for self-expression that tech and digital is offering. But still, rather that claiming that the distinction between what is art and what is not is something new, is truth all tech has done is blur the line that much more. For example, take the previous post (i.e. LOOK DOWN). With technology today I can take this supposed “art” and show it to the world for all its worth. Now, because of the vastness of human psyche out there, there will be people who consider it “art” and those who consider it little more then the ratings of another college student. But what is it? Does it say something about the “disillusionment” of today’s youth or is it just another embittered journal entry? That’s the problem with defining art, its usually a paradox. And As people take this new tech medium and use it for all its worth, place picture of the world up and expand into photo diaries, it is that same type of paradox and question that is posed to even MORE people. Are they making a contribution to the knowledge of mankind? Does the mere ability to express one’s self to millions of people make something artistic? As usual it’s nearly impossible to pin down a resolute definition. In point of fact humanity seems to have an innate ability to create and push its own boundaries before it has the ability to understand what that creation is, let alone be able to define it. And as these newer mediums expand everyone now has joined in in pushing the way we think about the world. I guess, if that’s true, then aren’t we all artists?

I find myself lost in a void of disulusionment, and bordom - trying to find something interesting to write. My typing skills really sucks so I am constantely pressing the backspace key and correcting myself, I seem to do that a lot for some reason, like what I want to say is on the tip of my tougue or brain but my mouth or fingers can never get it out right. I’m tired. Tired of having to come up with some intriguing idea that supposedly provides some sort of insight into the world of digital art. OOOO….that’s deep I can use that… Maybe its just that I just had lunch and really don’t feel like writing. Isn’t art the thing that supposed to provide the insight? Man, is this even worth it? The Prof will be looking at my blog supposedly looking for some sort of “commitment” to it. One on hand we got people in the class writing like nothing or very little trying to make every blog mean something..this is usually me…., and on the other we got cats typing away cramming in blogs day after day most of which is filled with whatever crap pops into their head. How the hell is that supposed to prove commitement? I dunno, I’m probably just bitter at the moment – it’ll pass as soon my food digests and I’ll be back to pretending I give a damn. And that’s what’s really pissing me off. I mean shoot, how often is it that I get to take a class that actually has SOME sort of comment about or use in real life. For once I take a class that tries to understand something of who and the what the hell we are…. Hey, that girl’s pretty cute…. Anyway so yea, Most of the classes I take are all theoretical mumbo jumbo that no employer or business in their right mind gives a damn about, let alone some punk with a BA in it. And so finally, a class present itself that isn’t mumbo jumbo and might get me to find the motivation to change my life and what happens? I lose interest….go figure. I’m not the only one either. Attendance in the class has slowly dwindled to nothing and few people show up here and their trying to convince the prof that they too give a damn….OH CRAP!!! I HAVE TO PRESENT TOMORROW!!! DAMMIT!!!!!. Ah man, now I have to two things tonight…go figure. Guess I better wrap this up.

Hypertext has got to be the biggest cop out and escape from a true author’s responsibility that I have ever heard of. The point of art, whether it be literature, art, music, film, is to comment on and push the boundaries of the world with live in. It is the responsibility of any author that respects their audience that they share something with the observer. To simply offer the potential for a thought about the world isn’t enough – you have to give something that can be chewed and digested, or even rejected - and it’s a disrespect to the reader and observers of that art to do otherwise. Any art worth its salt has something to give the observer, a new understanding or take on the world. Hypertext by definition provides no insight into the world by rather merely provides a reflection to the bearer, something that can be better accomplished by merely keeping a diary. By allowing the audience to determine the message the author escapes the duty of constructing and conveying a message and abandons that up to the audience. This medium that allows for the supposed “freedom” and “flexibility” of the message is little more then an escape from it. Hypertext are cannot SAY anything, all it can do is probe and hope for some sort of resolution and that is great travesty to those who come with expectations of bettering themselves and gaining a greater knowledge.

Thus far the experiment has proceeded to the stage where I have successfully constructed my characters and begun interacting with individuals with them via my forum – an online role playing game.

Results.
The personalities I have constructed have proven to be much sharper contrasted then I originally presumed (I’m a better actor then I thought if I do say so myself). Much more can be conveyed even through the medium of written text then I initially thought. Word choice, tone of writing, formality vs. slang, making Jokes vs. completely serious, all have proven devices in which the various personality traits of my personas can be expressed. As expected, the different persons I have constructed receive different responses by individuals and in some cases different responses by the same individual. However, again the different responses are not the goal of this experiment, only the verification. The goal has been to see the level at which I can consciously change myself – the thinking patterns I use, my personality framework. Thus far, I have been able to achieve limited success. I have been able to change the way I interact and think about interacting with individuals. For example, during the game, trading various “items” between players in order to earn game “credits” is a constant activity. However, there are no rules about how trading is done so much of it is free market based (there is a basic setup and computer vending system in place to give a framework but the specifics are up to players). When role playing as one of my constructed personas, say the business woman, I constantly am pushing other players for more for less during a trade (as would be expected); with this character I constantly negotiate. This contrasts when I am playing “the explorer” who usually accepts the other player’s terms of sale. The metal difference lays in the expectation; I expect more and demand more from one persona then the other. I have encountered a problem though. My natural state (i.e. my natural personality) is generally more accepting, so when I am making a conscious effort to go against that, I find myself “slipping” or only following through half-heartedly. Even when determined to make that conscious effort I still find myself reverting to my natural way of thinking. Clearly more practice is needed to verify if it indeed possible to make a distinct shift to a different way of thinking other then my natural way.

The Professor’s courageous self example has gotten me questioning the conclusion we came to in class about treating online communities and activities as merely an escape from our daily life. I suppose what really bothers me is how we are defining relationships, the narrow vision that we all seemed to have about what constitutes “real” interaction between individuals. Granted, the net doesn’t yet have the vast spectra and methods of communications that face-to-face interaction does, but does that mean that interaction with a person through the medium is impossible or even less meaningful? There is something to be said for meeting a person that is lost in cyberspace - a chemistry, a feeling about the person that cannot be transmitted through the lines of text. But if one is willing to forsake that in favor of security, why can’t a real bond be formed that would constitute an actual part of that person’s life? Traditionally this is the stuff that is seen to appeal to only to the social rejects and Star Trek geeks but as the net has become something for everyone, with cliques and communities for the masses, the net has naturally become a substitute for the social interactions that aren’t always easy in the physical world - that cannot be taken superficially. In the end, if two people form a bond, then the same emotions and feelings are built up, trust, respect, kinship, and sometimes more. Why not use this medium as a real part of one’s life, why consider is sublevel to forming a connection with the real? Maybe it’s because less is on the line when you interact with someone in real terms, you can’t just press the little “x” in the corner and pretend you never met them. Maybe it’s because you can’t unmeet someone in the real, there is always a deeper impression that can’t be changed like it can on the net. Or maybe, all these reasons are merely an excuse to avoid the burden of a formal relationship. In the end, I’m afraid I must too play the role of a coward as I can’t arbitrarily come to a conclusion. But I will say this: for me, the definition of a relationship and lines that is follows has become much more blurred.

All right, so I’m cruising through Vishao’s Cove on impulse drive to keep my warp signature down, thinking to myself I would enjoy a bit of target practice on the Titan Crystals that migrate through the sector. Titans usually sell for decent creds back home on Paren Station, not to mention having a chance to hone my skills using my new beam canon. I cruise for a bit, and then… I spot my target. Engaging cloak I stalk my prey… creeping up behind it. As I steady my nerves I mentally prepare for the sequence of actions I need to take in order to inflict the optimum amount of damage on the crystal star. I’m ready. I unleash a volley the likes of which the gods themselves would be proud. The Titan explodes in front of me, its alien contents shooting in all directions. I am so proud of myself.  Just then, another player drops out of warp right in front of me and before I know what is going on, he has stolen all loot from the titan’s corpse and jumped back into warp before I can say a word. Anger! Outrage! The impudence at stealing my target! Determined to see justice done I track down the player in the sector and confront him with text threats, judgments, and complaints doing my “best” to maintain my civility at this vile dog who has stolen my kill. Yet despite my best efforts, all I get in response is the proverbial, “sucks to be you.” Again, determined to let the universe know of my maltreatment I proclaim the incident on the “general” discussion channel. And, after a few min of my ravings, an ominous and distressing thought begins to dawn on me. NO ONE CARES. Not a single person bats an eye, raises concern, or attempts to join me in my crusade for righteousness. Were this lack of manners to occur in the real world (albeit, not a kill steal but some similar lack of courtesy) the heavens would cry out for vengeance and a political focus group would start merely to correct the imbalance. However, in the realm of cyberspace, where anonymity, fraud, and a lack of concern for others are common it has become apparent to me that the courtesy so often taken for granted in the real world, does not exist. Perhaps it’s the distance between people, perhaps it’s the overwhelming amount of sensory input that makes up prone to apathy, perhaps it the lack of identifying with a mere text name. Whatever the reason, cyberspace seems to be a place where the idea of mutual respect and everyday decency to strangers and fellow human beings seems to be shelved. Indeed cyber land is supposed to be a place where rules no longer apply. Nevertheless, we would all do well to remember that there is a person on the other end of the screen somewhere in this world; a person who deserves to be treated with the same level of do consideration that we would give them face-to-face. As cyberspace continues to grow and blur the line of human interaction, we must make every effort to bring manners, kindness, and decency along for the ride.

Seeing as how this class has proven itself capable of pushing the bounds of the way we (yes, I would be so bold as to include you all too) I would like to purpose an actual experiment to be undertaken by all those who feel inclined to participate (or by those who have had sufficient levels of caffeine so as to have some artificial motivation).

HERE IS MY PROPOSAL:

Step 1) Find a forum in cyberspace that interacts with others in reality yet provides complete (or at least relative) anonymity.

Step 2) Pick 3 different identities and construct them (or simply think about for more then five minutes…). The goal here isn’t necessary to construct people of different genders or race, but rather different views on the world, motivations, and statuses in life. Try to think outside of your current mindset, through in a dash of empathy, and see if you can get a character that thinks differently and reacts differently then you “think” you would in their place.

Step 3) Play out the different characters in your forum. Interact with others doing the best you can to follow in suit with your constructed personality.

Step 4) See how people respond to you differently. Observe the way they talk (or text) to you differently, their word choice, the tone of their language, what they actually say and are not willing to say?

Step 5) The Goal:
The point of this experiment isn’t in the interaction results, it’s in the attempt. In the before post I came to the conclusion that we can’t really change the way we are, our true self will show itself. NOW, I WANT TO PROVE MYSELF WRONG. I want myself and others to attempt to try to change their mentality, their emotional framework and have something completely different show through which can be verified by the diverse reactions from those you interact with (Only fantasy but an experiment nonetheless). Try seriously altering your methodology to reacting to ideas, words, and circumstances. I don’t think it can be done…am I wrong?

Suggested Forums: This has a lot to do with your comfort level at playing a role. Chat rooms, Online Games, and message boards/groups are the norm, plus you can usually pull off different identities there (I’m rather new at this myself but this what I hear). Another consideration the moral question that was brought to light in class. It’s up to you to determine where you draw the line between role playing a character and actually forming a relationship in cyber land so be aware when choosing your cyber medium.

Believing that it would be hypocritical to suggest an experiment I am unwilling to embark upon myself I will start the ball rolling. Expect further updates as I continue with the experiment.

My Forum: An online gaming environment. Has real time chat (for direct reactions to different personalities) as well as posting boards etc.

My Characters (constructed using every stereotype I could think of):
The Explorer:
The kind, caring adventurer with a thirst for knowledge and sensation. He has an inner passion for fulfillment through experience. Does sincerely care about others and has a great empathy but balances that with being a natural loner. Think new age hippie meets Star Trek with a little revenge of the nerds mixed in.

The Business Woman:
The Dr. Jekyll of the explorer. Cold, driven, and focused only on the goal. Forms relationships for the purpose of advancement. Doesn’t understand and cares little of her own feelings let alone the feelings of others. Has no interest in experience or fulfillment and pursues her ambitions by sheer instinct.

The Hero:
This character craves attention like most crave air. Must be adored and loved; gears all actions for that purpose. The Hero is rash and foolishly brave. Is constantly trying to funny and is easily embarrassed, evident by constantly putting self- correcting.

After much reflection on our thoughts on Identity I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to arbitrarily change who we are inside, regardless of the physical identity we assume. Granted our outside, physical dynamic has an influence on who we are but I believe there is something more. Somewhere in the mix of our mind, heart and soul exists a personality, a spirit, which internalizes and responds to the world in our own unique way. The way I think if different from you regardless of whether our philosophies or ideologies match up. We may recognize the same emotions in one another but how, when, why, and to what degree you feel them is something I can never know. We all have our own unique dynamic, our own quark if you will, that shows through in our communication with the outside world. It manifests itself in the way we speak and write, and the way we form our relations. I believe this personal essence isn’t something we can control, it’s just something we develop over time. Regardless of the name, race, and gender we construct it will always show through.

To be blunt I find myself unsatisfied with our lack of resolution in our discussion on Tuesday regarding the concepts described in Mr. McLuhan’s “picture book”. Surely, our collective brilliance could have derived SOME universal and societal truths in the span of our 1 hour talk (NOT an assignment of blame mind you as the facilitators, class, and instructor all contributed splendidly). In hopes of filling the void and stimulating the arrival at some conclusion, I offer the following:

A key factor that was overlooked in our discussion is that the POINT of the vast information network that exists today IS that global village (Not only is the effect our medium of information globalization, but that is the goal). The intent of the internet/web the new medium) is to unify the peoples, to give the masses access to the knowledge of the world. (Recall the single tear that rolled down our cheeks at the advertisement of the teacher in America teaching a class of students around the world). To attempt to sensor, control, or “be cautious” about the information download that we receive each day would go against the very reason our information network was established. Not to mention with the inherent dynamic and rapid evolution of the medium ultimately futile. Indeed, to be a successful member of society in this day (and even more so in the future) one must be ADEPT at understanding, assimilating, and navigating the vast amounts of info throw to us each day. Quite literally, it has become one of the more recent requirements in education and job skills and has altered the way our society functions (For example, when doing our term papers how many of us first go to check out a book or first do a “goggle search”?). This medium has changed us, it has altered the way we perceive and internalize information and it has done so intentionally. To fight that would truly be “going forward while facing backward.”

MUHAHAHAHA....I HAVE A BLOG NOW. FOREVER MORE YOU SHALL BE CONDEMNED TO READ MY RANTS AND RAVINGS (and for grading purposes, incredibly insightful, deep, and constructive analysis). BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID!!!!!